Week 7, Post #3

     The concept called the ventilation approach is a style that I can relate to as an “anger in” individual. I feel that in situations where conflict is involved I would rather vent my anger to someone else than actually confront the offensive person directly. I agree with the author when she states that by venting to someone we, “ devise constructive ways to handle it, and receive encouragement to confront the problem person.” (144) The one major flaw that I do see in this approach is it’s very one sided, meaning if all your time and energy is spent saying what the other person did wrong we fail to address the part that we played in the problem.  I think venting is useful for the reason that it allows you to get your feelings out about the person without the possibility of offending them. Though the issue will eventually have to be addressed I see this as good starting point in moving forward.

Week 7, Post #2

       After reading chapter 8 I determined that I agree my anger with an “ anger-in” approach. I tend to be the type that avoids confrontation and tend to be passive-aggressive. When I’m angry with someone I have a tendency to hold in my feelings and not confront the person about it. By the fact that I simply avoid situations of conflict all together I believe that the outcome tends to be negative when I expressive anger in a passive manner. The author says it best when it’s stated that they may, “ sulk around, expect you to read their minds, and become even angrier.” (144) I’m beginning to learn that by suppressing our anger when conflict arises we’re actually harming ourselves more than we think we’re doing ourselves a favor. Since I’ve always had negatives views associated with conflict it’s good too be informed of effective ways to address and deal with conflict. 

Week 7, Post #1

       In the first solution it states that passive mindless activities such as watching a movie may not do much to relieve the stress of a busy work/school schedule. It’s recommended that you do something active, which I can relate to. By going to the gym when I have free time it actually energizes me to get through my week. With the second solution to life’s challenges it is recommended to find joy in what we do. This can dramatically effect how you feel about work and school considering that’s what the majority of your time is spend doing. I try to view school as an investment in my future and see it as only a temporary bump in the road. By getting a good education it opens up many doors to do what truly makes you happy. In the third solution it’s said that joy and pain are found in the same place, which I can relate to in both my work and school life. Nothing gives me more satisfaction/annoyance than work and school. As long as I manage the stressors both can successfully co-exist.

Week 6, Post #3

When doing the reading for this week the concept of cooperation really seemed to resonate with me. Cooperation is essential in interpersonal communication and can benefit most everyone in their daily life. “ Cooperation means working together rather than against one another” (pg.110) This central idea discourages competition and encourages working together and engaging in honest communication. From my experience cooperation increases levels of trust, openness and collaboration. Specifically, in personal relationships cooperation leads to more of a happy median, versus a “ win-lose situation.” When this approach is taken in situations it allows people to focus more on their similarities, and less on their differences. An example of when cooperation helped the situation is when I was placed in a group with a classmate that I had worked with before and had a negative experience with.  When we were placed in the same group for a second time  we were both cooperative, which allowed us to work together producing a result that mutually satisfied both parties. 

Week 6, Post #2

Power is defined as, “ the ability to influence or control event.” (pg. 104) Therefore, when there is an unbalance of power in a relationship people are left feeling threatened. There are many different circumstances that contribute to the amount of power that an individual holds. There are many times in work related situations that the having more power equates to added responsibility and stress, which doesn’t appeal to me. Though this added power translates to a bigger paycheck it doesn’t always justify the added stresses that come with being a person of power. In my eyes having less power appeals to me most at this point. By working under people and taking direct orders from people above me it allows me to focus on other important areas of my life, such as school. Though this is only one example of an unbalanced power relationship it’s one that I can relate to and justify.

Week 6, Post #1

At one point or another we have been faced with situations that leave us with distrust with another person. By definition distrust means, “ we lack confidence in another person, we do not rely on that person, and/or we are suspicious or wary of her or him.” (pg.111) In High School I lost trust in one of my really close friends after I found out that he was seeing my ex girlfriend. I felt like it was a violation of the unwritten code of friendship. I reacted to the loss of trust by distancing myself from him due to the fact that I couldn’t bring myself to respect someone that would do that to one of his friends. As time went on the trust was restored when I saw that he was no longer that same person that he was years ago. I do believe that people can change, yet it has to be proven with concrete actions. Regaining trust doesn’t happen overnight, nor does it ensure that things will be back to the way they used to be. Ultimately, trust can take seconds to destroy and years to be restored.