Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Week 7, Post #2
After reading chapter 8 I determined that I agree my anger with an “ anger-in” approach. I tend to be the type that avoids confrontation and tend to be passive-aggressive. When I’m angry with someone I have a tendency to hold in my feelings and not confront the person about it. By the fact that I simply avoid situations of conflict all together I believe that the outcome tends to be negative when I expressive anger in a passive manner. The author says it best when it’s stated that they may, “ sulk around, expect you to read their minds, and become even angrier.” (144) I’m beginning to learn that by suppressing our anger when conflict arises we’re actually harming ourselves more than we think we’re doing ourselves a favor. Since I’ve always had negatives views associated with conflict it’s good too be informed of effective ways to address and deal with conflict.
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The whole anger-in thing is bad news. But so is the anger-out response. I know because I started as an anger-out surrounded by anger-ins (Gee, I wonder if they held it in because they were afraid i would flame broil them...?)and then swung all the way the other direction. I actually did a bit of research on this for the assessment paper and found studies that linked early deaths to anger-in responses. I guess we both have to practice that whole assertive, calm, anger-control stuff. Good luck to us both!
ReplyDeleteHi Mark,
ReplyDeleteI can identify with your post completely! I too realized that I have an "anger-in" approach when it comes to conflict as I am not someone who enjoys making waves. Like you, I tend to bottle up my true emotions as I try to avoid confrontation at all costs. I used to think this was a good strategy; however, I as well have begun to realize that by doing this, we are doing more harm to ourselves and the relationship than good. By suppressing our true emotions, the situation never has a chance to be discussed or resolved, which can have damaging effects to the relationship in the long run.