Friday, February 10, 2012
Week 2, Post #3
A concept that I learned from reading this weeks assigned reading is called gunny-sacking. When this occurs hurt or anger is stored up until they eventually explode. From my personal experiences this is something that I try to avoid at all costs. By addressing issues before they become toxic is one way to avoid conflict. This is done through being assertive, if issues are just bottled in their bound to reach a breaking point resulting a negative result. If we are honest to ourselves and the people around us about our feelings we won’t have to hide them. In my last relationship we failed to communicate our issues with each other and just avoided them all together. Unfortunately, this resulted in us resenting each other because what could have been easily fixed if addressed was put off for so long that it caused our relationship to turn sour. Through gunny-sacking little problems turn into big problems due to the lack of communication when dealing with issues of conflict.
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I thought the term, “gunnysacking” was quite apropos, although I hadn’t heard of a gunny sack for many years. We had one made out of burlap when I was growing up that we took with us when we went camping. We used it to hold whatever needed to be taken with us, often a bunch of stuff.
ReplyDeleteAs you wrote, gunnysacking is storing up hurt and anger until a person explodes. It’s been my experience that when gunnysacking, people (including me, sadly enough at times,) tend to have a whole bunch of stuff bottled up inside and some small trigger that might not even be related to the stuff in the “gunny sack” (such as a person being tired, or stressed from a drive home in traffic, etc.) can make a person explode at the littlest thing that the other person does. At this point, anything and everything that was bottled up, including some random extra stuff, comes spewing out in a rush or angry words. Definitely not the best way to handle conflict!
As you and the authors indicated, assertiveness, or speaking up and sharing issues, needs, etc. helps avoid gunnysacking and helps little problems not turn into larger ones.
You happened to be the first name I picked and out of all concepts to choose from in chapter three I chose the same as you! How funny. Anyways, I agree with. Being assertive in this kind of situation helps prevent breakups and many fights in a relationship. I am a very assertive person so gunny-sacking is something I have only seen. That is too bad you guys couldn’t work out your issue. It becomes hard when gunny-sacking takes over then relationship because it is not fair to either partner. Most of the time we don’t realize we are doing something wrong until and explosion occurs. Trying to communicate without gunny-sacking and being assertive to one another with your feelings is the best way to go.
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