Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Week 4, Post #1
Based on the S-TLC system, it demonstrates how to resolve interpersonal conflict through basic communication skills. S-TLC stands for: stop, think, listen, communicate. Though this is an effective way to deal with conflict hypothetically it’s often times hard to not respond automatically when a conflict arises. This system tries to teach us that by taking the necessary steps to resolve conflict instead of acting impulsively the outcome will be more favorable. For people that have a problem acting impulsively I would give them the advice to just stop! By stopping when a conflict arises it allows ourselves to regain our composure and act in a more responsible way. When I feel a conflict arising in my personal life the way I prefer to take a time out is by going to the gym. By removing myself from a hostile situation and going to work out it allows me to relieve stress as well as think of a better, and mutually beneficial solution to the existing conflict.
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I like that you added, “this is an effective way to deal with conflict hypothetically.” Hypothetically because, in reality, it is very difficult to take the time to work through each stage of the S-TLC process. Once we allow our emotions to overtake our reasoning faculties, we quickly lose the ability to reach a satisfactory conclusion to our problem.
ReplyDeleteEven those unfamiliar with the acronym S-TLC, are still able to recognize the benefits of “thinking before you act” and active listening. If we seriously approach a conflict with a mindset to resolve the issue, we will naturally tend towards these principals, often times unaware of the step-by-step process involved.
As you say, this is all theoretical though. All the knowledge in the world goes out the window when we rush headfirst into conflict.
Great post,
-Ben
I fully agree with what you are saying when it comes to people who have the problem of acting impulsively in conflicts. The “stop” skill is one I will definitely take into consideration when I’m in my conflicts. For me, I have the problem of automatically responding when a conflict arises. I feel I probably do this in defense, or probably (hate to say it) because I may be wrong. But as you said, by stopping it gives us a chance to regain our composure and act more responsively. I’ll be sure to try and use you and the book’s advice when I’m in the middle of a conflict. Because nine times out of ten the conflicts I’ve been in most likely could’ve ended with better outcomes, if either the other party or I just stopped and walked away.
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